


Poster-boy, you'll turn to dust.

by leathermouthed



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Nightmares, So much angst, Steve-centric, i was possessed by the evil forces of angst and suffering, let Steve Rogers be happy 2k18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 16:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15586047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leathermouthed/pseuds/leathermouthed
Summary: Steve has a nightmare.Bucky is there.





	Poster-boy, you'll turn to dust.

**Author's Note:**

> This came up as a rant in a group chat, no joke.  
> I'm so sorry y'all.
> 
> If you wanna yell at me, you'll find me [here](http://buckymademedoit.tumblr.com/ask)!

Bucky wakes up with a jolt when he hears a loud grunt next to him.   
Steve is groaning and trashing on the bed. Instinctively, Bucky turns on the bedside lamp and looks at him, his face contorted in anguish, hands fisting the sheets and legs kicking. 

“Steve, my love, wake up”, he says as softly as he can.

He makes another sound, a choke at the back of his throat. The sheets are tangling on his feet and he’s getting more restless, his movements erratic and spasmodic. He lets out a choked sob and Bucky’s heart breaks, he immediatly cups Steve’s face with both hands, as gently as he can, running his fingers softly over his cheeks. 

“Stevie, baby, wake up.” 

One of Bucky’s hands caress down Steve’s neck and settles on his shoulder, shaking slowly. He tries to wake him up as gently as he can, Steve doesn’t really have many nightmares but when he does, they wreck him. 

“Steve, it’s me, come on baby, wake up.” He whispers in his ear, metal hand shaking his shoulder again.

Steve wakes up violently and sits up, almost knocking Bucky over. He gasps, looking around wildly. Bucky call his name, almost a whisper so he doesn’t startle him, but letting him know he's here, he's home.

Steve’s back tenses when he hears him, and that’s, well, that’s new. 

“Steve?” He tries again. The blond shakes his head, gets up and walks out of the room. Bucky hears the bathroom door slam shut and winces, he’s never woken up this bad before. 

The thing with Steve is, he’s the hero. He’s Captain Perfect. He’s the poster-boy for good things, the one to follow, the invincible, the unbreakable, the leader.

He’s been made so many things, he forgets he’s human, sometimes. 

The world wants and the world takes, no questions asked. And Steve gives. He gives and gives until there’s nothing left inside of him but if they ask him for his last breath he’ll give that, too. That’s who he is. That’s who he was made to be, who he’s supposed to be. Steve’s the strong one. Steve holds the weight of the world on his shoulders and glues everyone’s pieces together and runs his thumb over everyone’s cracks. Steve soothes. 

Steve gives himself away over and over again until he’s left with nothing but his emptiness and he gets angry at himself for feeling vulnerable.

If he only knew, he’s not only allowed but _entitled_. To let his guard down, to feel, to cry. He’s earned the godforsaken right to _feel_. Unbelievable.

Bucky lets out a sigh, his heart aches for this man, this beautiful, gentle, kind man with a soul too good and a heart too big but a head too stubborn to accept that sadness is okay sometimes. 

He waits a couple of minutes before walking to the bathroom.   
The door is closed but unlocked and Bucky knows it’s not accidental, so he opens it carefully and slips in.

The muffled sobs coming from the shower feel like a punch in the gut.

Bucky silently slips off his clothes. Steve knows he’s there, of course, so he gets in the shower, the hot spray making his skin rise in goosebumps. 

Steve looks broken, but oh, so beautifully human, Bucky’s chest aches. 

He hugs him from behind, and the moment Bucky’s forehead presses between his shoulder blades he’s gone, collapsing on the bathroom floor as his body shakes and his tears fall. Bucky goes with him, of course he does, and wastes no time in pulling him to his chest, hugging him tight as Steve wounds an arm around Bucky’s waist tight enough to bruise and hides his face against his neck. And it’s incredible, how he turns so small in Bucky’s arms.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you. I love you Stevie, I’m here. I’ve got you.” He says as he holds him, one hand around his back, the other moving soothingly against the back of his neck.

And for once, Steve Rogers lets himself cry.   
He cries and mourns and feels, he feels _everything_. For once, he takes off the uniform and strips off the titles and leaves the world at the door. 

He cries in Bucky’s arms and he kisses his cracks, soothes his burns, holds him through it.

He can’t fix this, as much as seeing Steve like this  breaks his heart, there’s nothing to fix. And he’s glad that, for once, Steve stops fighting, he understands that this is okay, too. He lets go.

For once, the boy from Brooklyn allows himself to be vulnerable.

 

 

 


End file.
